Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Going West

i put on my tu-tu and red heels today. both seemed appropriate to me.

most of you readers know i've been given the opportunity to embark on and adventure. one that will take me west--all the way to oregon. the alchemist is a teeny little publication in corvallis, oregon. but, it's got a big heart and some lofty goals. goals of competing with the only other news source in the town, goals of going from eight pages to twenty-four, goals of developing a non-profit side, and goals of getting it's collaborators out of jobs they hate doing.

corvallis is 2,168 miles from my current location. thus, making this decision a difficult one for me. do i want to take a chance on my career and move away from everything i've ever known to a place i never thought i'd go? can i leave the strong community i've become a part of and start over? a few months ago, i was more than ready to take this leap and go east to NYC. however, that's a place i've always thought i'd be. but alas, no job opportunities in NYC for me.

in my adult life, i have usually made decisions based on what i wanted to do, many without seeking the Lord. i've been trying to make this one a little differently and truly trying to seek His guidance. how many prayers do you pray before you can say, 'yeah, i've prayed about it'?

the way i see it, there's two ways to look at this. 

one: for some reason, in my head i've always thought that the things God wants me to do and the things i want to do usually aren't in alignment. so that makes me think because i want to go, then maybe i'm not supposed to go--writing that down now makes it appear to be a ludicrous thought because i do believe that God gives us the desires of our hearts.

two: a couple years ago i met a new friend at a writer's conference. he's the one who has connected me with the alchemist group. maybe we were introduced just to be friends, but what if there was a bigger purpose for our meeting? what if God has used our friendship to open the doors for this opportunity?

or maybe i'm over-spiritualizing this?

a good friend of mine gave me a nugget of wisdom the other day, she said to walk through the doors God opens--until, of course, He shuts them.

i just can't help but thinking how perfect this could be. a publication that would allow me to design and write. and, one that wants to produce a non-profit side to help with other local non-profits in the community. seems like everything i've ever wanted all rolled into one.

so, there it is. an open door.

i'm walking through it.


Andrea said...

AHHHH! This gave me chills and made me cry. :)

Jenn said...

Just go! You'll be fantastic and it will be difficult to leave a life that you've known for so long, but it's an experience that you shouldn't pass. I'm super proud of you!